Show them you are not an easy pushover

Q: I am a confirmed homebody for as long as I could remember. I usually don’t want to waste my time in the streets.

What younger people term freedom is sort of alien to me, as I was brought up in a strict environment. But I don’t mind that. I am just as happy as I am.

I have five close friends. Three of them now work outstation. The remaining two are very outgoing.

We are members of a society. Each time after the group meeting, they like to go singing.

I joined them a couple of times, even though I can’t sing. But nowadays I have to go home early because unlike them, I can’t sleep late.

However, my friends tried to force me to stay on. When I can’t give them a better reason, they will say I am no longer a child.

If I insist on leaving, I fear they will be disappointed in me. I do want to stay on longer but my time does not
allow it and I have to study.

I do want to go out with them, enjoy myself, then go home happy-go-lucky and not stressed like this.

Answer

You obviously feel stressed spending much time outside. When that happens, you are not having fun. If you are not having fun, why do you do it then?

So, I do wonder why you force yourself to do things you don’t enjoy.

Another thing is if your friends are good and true friends, they should understand you and not making remarks or insist that you stay late, when you want to go home early and especially at a time when you need to study.

Try to take control over your life. Be in control. Do not allow others to run all over you.

Do not allow others to push you, to make you feel you need to conform.

It’s quite easily done. When you need to leave the crowd, you can just do so. Smile and wish them good night, like all there is to it.

Thank them for asking you out. You need your sleep and it is getting late.

It’s important that you throw in a bit of humour. Show your friends that you don’t mind some teasing and harassment.

But, be firm, so that they know you are not an easy pushover. They will respect you all the more for being strong and confident.

Agony Aunt
So You Think You Have Problems --- Christine Vu